I don't know how many years I have to have this very strange disorder before any of it makes any kind of sense to me. Although, from what I understand, it doesn't seem to make a whole lot of sense to a lot of people, including many of our doctors and specialists.
Sometimes I feel like an alien from outer space, (It would be kind of cool to be a one eyed, mini, glowing, green martian!) but, really, most people tend to stop paying attention or even caring, after saying, "So, what is RSD?"
I know, it isn't the easiest thing to describe or explain, every day is different and I don't believe I have ever had 2 days that were the same, yet.
I keep a pain diary and try to find some sort of cause, solution, reasoning, anything but every time I think I am getting close to the culprit, it gets even more mysterious.
I wouldn't say I'm Horatio Caine or anything but I feel pretty close to a CSI. Maybe, if Horatio reads this, he can get down to the bottom of this within the hour?
What is my goal with this post? I'm not to sure just yet, I just feel the more I write about my struggles maybe somebody, somewhere will read this and say, "OMG! I know exactly what she means!!" Anybody, I don't care ;)
I have been blessed with friends, (online mainly.) I have found quite a few beautiful people who have big hearts and are fighting the same fight as me. The odd thing is, we aren't the same. None of our cases are the same. We may share some similar symptoms but something that causes a flare up in my friend, Mindi, won't cause one for me and vice versa.
Ok, so, maybe that is the point? Here I am!! Screaming across the internet for any sort of help, maybe advice, maybe let me hear your story and maybe hear mine? As interesting as this disorder is, (don't ask me why, maybe I am a nerd but science and the most peculiar things in the universe are some of my favorite things!)
I'm thinking of publishing my pain diaries on one of my new blogs, I think that will benefit me and more importantly, will help somebody else.
I write and write and write until I get these annoying lumps on my fingers, where the pen sits. Often, I do find that just getting frustrations out helps a lot but, the physical pain is still there. I think I have lost hope of being pain free at any point in my life but at the same time, this disorder has been nothing but a magical blessing in disguise.
If you are somebody who deals with chronic pain or neurological pain, please leave me a comment! If you have a blog, a Twitter, anything, I would love to follow you there and read what you are going through.
I truly believe that the cure for this is quite simple. I don't know what it is just yet but I assure you, it is on the tip of somebody's tongue and I won't lose hope.