Losing My Best Friend

There are so many things I wish I could say right now, but I can't. I am to upset, to angry, frustrated, confused, and all I can think about is when you were "stolen" from me before and we were no longer hanging out every waking moment, at work and when we were out of work. I remember when there was just no more "Brandy and Sheree the bartenders" or "Brandy and Sheree the bff's" because, I guess all good things have to come to an end. (I still don't understand that either.) 
Then, years later, we reconnect and everything is the same except for the part where you actually show up when invited or the part where we actually go hang out or the part where we actually go see Pat and Ed and laugh because we are doing so much better nowadays and are older, our first borns are all grown up and we always said we would still be going to the Hatebreed shows and jumping in the mosh pits and drinking Jagermeister and shopping and going out to eat and running to Walmart after our shifts, so we could make fun of people (all the way back before social media too lol!), and grab groceries and buy our kids everything they wanted. Then we'd sit up all night and watch Adult Swim and crack up and talk about how when we're older, we will still be doing the same thing.
But, that didn't happen. No matter how many texts and messages I sent and how many times I'd ask you to meet up somewhere or just come and hang out here and meet my youngest kids....
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't surprised.
I'd be lying if I said I can't believe the news, 
Because, I knew all along, from the first time this happened that this will be the end of you and here it is.
It's a shame it isn't somebody in particular that I can go and literally kick their ass. Unfortunately, it's much bigger than that.